"All things come to those who wait"...........

After a couple of weeks post Great North Swim dip *no pun intended* it was time to pick up and carry on.
Pragmatism is a much underrated quality. To get where you want to be you have to be able to say "OK this is the situation, this is where I want to get to and this is what I have to do to get there."
There's always going to be setbacks, things you could maybe have done differently and lots of things that are simply out of your control. Add to that the people who tell you you're crazy, you can't, you shouldn't. Learning when to listen and when to ignore it can be make or break either way round. You can minimise the chances of getting injured but are you going to reach your full potential if you don't push to your limits? You can train for a certain time but if the wind or the waves decide today is not the day there's nothing you can do but grit your teeth and just hope to get round.
The race is not won by crossing the finishing line, it's in overcoming the struggle it takes to get there.

The situation:
The open water swim season is half over.
I'm not entirely convinced I have really done the training I need to.
I'm not really convinced I have the right wetsuit.
Using "really" and "entirely" are "probably" good indicators that this is not the case

Where do I want to get to:
I want to finish and I want to feel comfortable doing it.
I don't want an Olympic qualifying time (OK secretly I do but appreciate I have left it at least 20yrs too late!) but I don't want to be last.

What do I have to do to get there:
If I knew how to answer this I'd be there already!
OK I can't do anything about the limited swim season, the chances of swims being cancelled, the water quality, the size of the waves, the temperature, the weather, the "strong tidal current", the weever fish, the jelly fish, the eels, the "monster carp", the Weils disease, the blue green algae.....
(This is a lot for a self-certified control freak!)
I can step my training up.
I can train smarter.
I can swallow my pride and ask for help.
I can pour a bloody big glass of water because that pride is not going down easily!
I can find a bloody wetsuit that isn't working against me!
I need to win the lottery to afford the Andy Murray style entourage that is clearly going to be needed for me to take up competitive swimming at the positively geriatric age of 34 (..soon to be 35)

First things first I need to step up the training. Not that I have been exactly slacking in this department but the effort it takes to get from zero to race ready in 6mths without breaking something and while trying to hold down a full time job etc etc has its limits. OK so plenty of Olympians manage it, excuse rejected!
My body is 20yrs older than that Chinese girl and is objecting! Yes but that Australian girl is 3yrs older than you and still in the top ten in the world, excuse rejected!
I haven't won the lottery, buy a ticket!
My wetsuit isn't working, find one that is!
Stop talking to yourself......... done!

Two and a half months, one new Aquaskin, one new physio, one personal trainer, a few hundred laps, a couple of hundred bike miles, a lot of weight training, several gallons of Biofreeze, a few "damn it forgot the lottery tickets" & "YES Toblerone IS appropriate carb loading" and a last minute "Where the hell did I leave my lucky swimsuit at the start of taper!!!!!???"s later.......

Time to get on a plane!
Yes a PLANE! .............now that's the way to arrive at a swimming race!

Even better, hire car turns out to be a VW Golf and the hotel room has a third storey view of the sea!
.........and you get the impression things are FINALLY going right!

Time for a serious "Can Do" conversation with myself:

"Possunt quia posse videntur"

Months of training over, kit laid out on the hotel room floor, weather looking good, pre-race routine in place, superstitions taken care of, so why is there a (collective noun for butterflies!?) in my stomach..........?

I'm not great when I have too much time to sit around and think about what's to come, I'm better when I have things to do, a plan to follow, a routine to go through. It's no surprise to me that you see so many Olympic swimmers coming out with their headphones in.

Sitting on the sea wall with the sun shining, looking out across the water I realise quite how much self-doubt I have. It didn't used to be there, it's kind of crept in little by little when I wasn't looking. Maybe I've let other people take what wasn't theirs to take. I've met some amazing people in the last few years but there's always some who project their insecurities onto you, who are threatened by the fact you reach to achieve your dreams while theirs remain wishful thinking. I need to get tougher with these dream stealers and surround myself with more can do people, those who want to be part of my journey and not pull me back down. I'm lucky that I've now found some of these people because believe me they are few and far between.

I know in my head that I have done enough this time round, I have settled the demons that were there a couple of months before and this time it does feel right.

So why the nerves? For me I think it's always fear of the unknown and fear of not meeting other people's expectations. I place the bar high and then worry that I wont get over it. I need to find that determination that is still there somewhere that says I'm going to bloody well pile up whatever it takes to get over that bar. I need to learn to worry less but at the same time the day you stop feeling that fear is the day you've stopped pushing yourself that bit further. Fear is not a bad thing; it's what pushes us not to fail.

The nerves were no better the next morning though. After the wedding disco which finished at midnight I was awake with an adrenalin fuelled knot in my stomach before it got light. At least that put pay to the fear of not waking up and sleeping right through it!
My PT Nathan had frowned and suggested that half a bottle of gin and 4hrs sleep the weekend before when I'd had a final practice in the North sea were "not the best preparation". For once he was wrong! There was no gin this time, just pasta, electrolytes and water like a proper "athlete" but the 4hrs sleep wasn't far off.

Watching them build the scaffold at 7am..........

 

......while eating bananas, porridge and Toblerone washed down with body volt, powerade and coffee. If I managed to get round without vomming it would be a miracle!

 

By 8am I had registered and was warming up and going through a stretch routine. I'd been numbered and tagged and given my race cap. What had been a quiet hotel terrace the day before was rapidly filling up with serious triathlete types. I started to question what the hell I was doing in their company and what the hell have I got myself into this time!?

 

Please God let it fit........



  

My biggest fear was not finding someone to take pity on me and be my wetsuit buddy, note to self: "next time; when I have won the lottery, this will be the first person to go on the pay roll!"

I was quite thankful that I had a room to get changed in and could avoid the queue of girls waiting for the three toilets. I did contemplate offering one of them my room in return for zipping me in but decide this sounds a bit pervy, and girls can be a bit standoffish at the best of times. I did manage to get nearly completely ready by myself in the calm of my room before returning to the masses. I also decide that the 20mins of hungover practice in the North sea will clearly give me the edge on hearing said girls in the toilet discussing the fact that they have never swum in the sea........ maybe I wont be so bad after all.

 

8.30am on the beach, suited and booted, no I don't need to "warm up" in that freezing water thank you very much, I'm quite happy standing here gazing out to sea wondering if this is the last time I will stand on dry land...... I'm jolted out of my contemplation when we're funnelled into the starting area, there's some girl in a bikini!(..........seriously I think she's lost), the girl next to me is clearly terrified, it reminds me of that scene in Gladiator where the guy pees himself as they're waiting to go out and be hacked to death. I start mentally preparing myself to stay at the back, walk into the water and swim my own race.........

 

8.45am the klaxon goes and the calm collected entry goes out the window as adrenaline takes over, someone yanks my ankle, someone swims across me, there's waves in my face and salt in the back of my throat........ note to self: "You have a ventolin inhaler for a reason, next time use it!" 

It's like boarding a budget airline when a rumour goes round that there's not enough seats, except this time there's water.



(Thanks Jason Tait!)

 

.......... I am out there, somewhere!

(again thanks Jason Tait!)

 

9:11:35 and I did make it back to dry land, I wasn't last and I didn't die....... although not entirely convinced someone behind me who screamed did. Seeing and hearing some people in difficulty and seeing the current and the waves the day before was sobreing and a reminder that it's not for other people who haven't done it to judge you. Swimming half the course against the current with spray in your face and other people swimming over you is not for the faint hearted and it's most certainly not "the pool". The sea is like a mountain; you don't conquer it, at best if it lets you and you respect it, with a certain amount of luck you can achieve what you set out to do and come away in one piece.  

 

.......a hard won piece of metalware

 

 

 

 

It's not about crossing the line or the time you did it in or where you came on the results list. It's about personal challenge, achieving the goals you set for youself and overcoming the struggle to get where YOU want to be. Here's to the journey..........

 

You can still sponsor my efforts which are going to Rotary's End Polio Now campaign here.

 

 

Oh please God no!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 



Citius, Altius, Fortius...........

Ok so it's been a week since I was meant to have completed my first major outdoor swim. It's been a tough week mentally and to be honest there's not really been a lot of training going on. There's an overwhelming sense of despondence in some of the people I've got to know who also got cancelled. They've literally thrown the towel in, for how long who can say, everyone deals with these sort of setbacks differently. What is clear though is that it's not easy to simply pick up and carry on from where you've left off, you have to have the right attitude and you have to reach deep to want to be able to move on. Maybe I'm lucky that however much I doubt myself in the run up, deep down I know that I can find the strength when it gets tough. I know this week's tough and I know that by next week I'll be back trying to improve my performance. I think as well with this type of event you have to remain pragmatic, the weather can be bad, the algae can take over, you can injure yourself in training, hell you can even put your nail through your suit on the start line! Setbacks are part of it, they're a reality check, you deal with it, try and learn from it and you move on. Even the great Keri Anne Payne had a *swim fail* and came fifth rather than second after missing the slap board, a mistake she's sure to learn from and not repeat in the Olympics and a reminder that we're all human.

Last Sunday there was a LOT of pent up sporting energy and having really battled to get in the right head space for the day; I'd been left feeling like a pressure cooker with no steam release valve.
Also having looked at the course on a very wet and windy Friday night there was also a vague feeling of relief that I hadn't had to put myself through it, not because for one minute had I underestimated the scale of the swim or the possible conditions we could face but seeing quite how far it is really put the effort required into sharp focus.
With events like the London Marathon and the Great North Swim becoming increasingly popular, people seem to think that anybody can just rock up to an endurance event and almost expect to complete it. Not so, for those people who've done it or who are seriously intending to do it, they know the hours that have to go in prior to the event to minimise the risk of embarrassing yourself or doing yourself an injury. People have sadly died taking part in both; it's not something you want to take on without doing your homework.
All credit to Paul Wilson of Rotary Global Swimarathon fame, he completed his swim on Sunday morning after the Sunday session went ahead in almost sunny conditions! Not sure who booked the weather on that day, him or Keri Anne Payne but clearly I don't have that much sway with the Gods of weather, requests to be sent in triplicate to Zeus, Aeolus and Poseidon next time.......

Sunday night after spending most of Saturday/Sunday moping about, starting arguments and being generally unpleasant to be around I headed to the gym. Time to "unload" some of those carbs from the last few days, put myself in a better frame of mind and more importantly see if 7 days taper had made any difference.

It seems that the taper or maybe the pent up aggression did me some good, smashed my 10Km bike time down to 17:15 without too much difficulty, ran for 10mins on the treadmill without having a loaded gun put to my head and finished it off with a 200m swim in 5:17 Around 12 seconds over my stand alone swim time, not bad for a NON triathlete....

Laying in the sauna afterwards it was time to think about the next move. There was a couple of hundred pounds of sponsorship money to consider, as well as having a better understanding of the reality. 12 months was a long time for people who'd sponsored me to wait and while it was good that it allowed a decent amount of training time, it was going to be tough staying in the right place mentally and trying to get re-energised after the weekend's disappointment when the next event was so far away. Waiting till next June would mean double the time we'd already had, it should mean that by next year we'd be in a great place (Having gone from zero to hero in under 6mths!) but trying to get the enthusiasm up to start hours of pool and gym time again with the finish line so far away was going to be a bit of a non starter. Time to get back on the horse and pronto.

The Open water season was half gone already, it's not massive in the UK anyway and there's a limited number of suitable events. Realising what we'd taken on meant a reluctance to sign up for something too soon, a bit more time to get used to swimming in a wetsuit was probably a sensible plan.

The most attractive option was switching from the Great Swim series to the Speedo Swim series. The venues are amazing but the times are fast! The Great Swim series is more popular and probably attracts more of the "anybody and everybody" crowd. The Speedo series while billed as an "anyone" event, taking one look at the finish times gives you the distinct impression there's a lot of "proper swimmers". Hmmm time for a compromise.

16th September the "HUMANRACE" holds its annual "Poole Swim" as part of the Speedo swim series. It's fast, the slowest half mile time is around 25mins, 4mins over my "pool" time and this time it's in the sea! It would be different again to a lake. The speedo series confirms it's "proper swimmer" status by the fact that wetsuits are optional and not allowed over a positively tropical 22degs! Events also go ahead even if the temperature drop below 11degs! :-S
While I could sign up for the full mile, I think the fact that it's in the sea with the waves and the posibility of it being in a swimming costume not to mention the fact I really need to bust my pool time down below 20mins makes up for the shorter half mile distance. Shorter but tougher and faster.
Ok sign me up!

http://swimseries.humanrace.co.uk/events/poole

The true replacement event will probably be either the Speedo Eton swim at the Olympic rowing venue in May or next year's Great North Swim back in Windermere in June. That gives us almost another year to get up to the full 1600m distance in wetsuits and not do it in an abismal time. Who knows maybe I'll even sort my worse than abismal running out and actually think about a triathlon (assuming I haven't been committed under the Mental Health Act)........

You Can Sponsor Me Here!

Sponsorship is going to the Rotary End Polio Now / PolioPlus campaign.

Swimming in chocolate......

So tonight is not really how I'd planned it. The image in my head definately involved some post swim shenanigans with the bottle of prosecco in my bag and some equally triumphant Marc Jenkins lookalike.
Cork is still firmly in the fizz however and assume the Mark Jenkins lookalikes were all taking cover. (Probably with a Helen Jenkins lookalike....) - from the WEATHER you evil lot, not my advances!

Two rows with my brother about the pile of bags meant it was time to unpack, something we didn't have time to do yesterday.
Then what should I find in my Stella McCartney 2012 Olympic swimbag? .........the Olympic size bar of Toblerone I had bought as a pre swim superstition on the way to the lakes!

Happy Days!!

Tried to convince Nathan at B-Physical that this was the ONLY size available........

He wisely decides that an angry woman does not need to be separated from her bar of chocolate and comments that "Bloody Hell they gave you a laptop?" I decided to take this as a professional blind eye to cocoa based indiscretion this evening..........

Yes probably an indiscretion I will regret at 3.30pm tomorrow afternoon while "unloading" the pre event carbs and generally taking my anger out on the crosstrainer rather than watching BBC2, but hell hath no fury like a frustrated swimmer.

I also tried to convince Toblerone that this bar was jinxed and perhaps they would like to be the official sponsors of my next foray into open water swimming? ........still waiting for the reply.





Gutted like a fish.......

It's been pretty hard to write this post. We had no sooner arrived in Grassmere then we received this:

BRITISH GAS GREAT NORTH SWIM ONE MILE EVENT CANCELLED ON SATURDAY 23RD JUNE

Dear Sarah Bosomworth,

We regret to inform you that the British Gas Great North Swim one mile event at Windermere on Saturday June 23rd has been cancelled.

The decision was taken this afternoon by the independent event planning group, as the weather forecast for tomorrow predicts strong gusting winds, which are expected to ease overnight on Saturday.

Strong winds affect the ability of the safety kayakers to operate and also may make swimming conditions extremely challenging.

The programme of events is intended to continue as planned on the Sunday, although we regret to inform you that you will be unable to transfer your place to the Sunday event.

_____________

Obviously safety has to come first, we could see for ourselves that the weather was pretty awful and it's never easy to take a decision to cancel such a large scale event with so many people's expectations riding on it. We were mostly annoyed that the decision was not made to reschedule an entire day of events. 6mths of training, the expense involved, people's expectations of us not to mention the money we'd been sponsored were all weighing heavy on our minds. In some ways it was easier because the decision was out of our hands, we hadn't pulled out, we'd done the training, we were as ready as we could be in the time we'd had. Still you feel a certain pressure but often you are your own harshest critic. Nobody has so far asked for their money back, everyone has been really understanding but there's obviously the disappointment for us that comes with not reaching a goal that you have set for yourself.

Here's a few pictures to prove that we were there!

The security guys let us see the start line but we wont be crossing it in 2012.......

 

This is as close a I got to swimming greatness....... this time!

What you can't see in the pictures is the howling wind and intermittent monsoon like downpours, it was also freezing cold (Hence the hoodie & jacket sumo look) and that was on dry land!

Then we tried to drive home........... :-S

Wished we'd asked British Gas for a lift home, they must have known something we didn't:

 

All in all it was not exactly how we'd planned to spend the weekend, to say I'm gutted is pretty much an understatement but these things happen, that's life, no matter which language you speak.

Time to retreat and regroup.

C'est la vie

Che sarà sarà

Fried or Frozen?

Woke up Friday morning feeling nervous, one look out of the window and it was not looking good. It was never going to be an easy challenge but swimming into wind, having waves crashing in your face as you're trying to breath and having the water temperature drop at the last minute are not added difficulty factors that as a novice you want to have to deal with.
Still we'd taken it on and now was not the time to back out. It was time to start packing!

Breakfast of champions.............

Jessica's response to the proposed Olympic nutrition plan was "I don't like porridge and I don't like pasta....... but you can bring me a banana!" I notice that she complained less at the proposed hydration plan:

OK so the prospect of carbs after 2weeks of restrictions has got me a little bit over excited!

The weather forcast for the weekend is pretty terrible so in true Great British Summer style it's unlikely that these are going to be needed:

Jessica doesn't help matters by posting this weather update!

But we're British and used to it, (Wishing I still lived on the Mediterranean at this point!) so it's time to bring out the stiff upper lips and get on with it!

Having sorted out my wetsuit dilema earlier in the week thanks to the guys at OverlandUnderWater I now have two options......... (The lesser of two evils)

Olympic triathlon suit that I am super fast in doing free, (Which I can manage for about 50m) and that ensures I can't lower my feet below the water doing breaststroke OR the new thinner suit that has seams behind my knees which I'm pretty sure I am going to be cursing halfway round. It's thin enough to allow me to swim breaststroke but possibly also thin enough to ensure I end up in hospital requiring a thermometer somewhere I don't want to contemplate!

Still the weather forcast predicts lightning so it might not be that cold after all. Hopefully the timing chip in our swim caps will act as a lightning conductor! :-S

.....hopefully baggage label will not be put to it's "other" use!

7 days left, maybe I should make a bucket list.....

It's now exactly 7 days before the big event and at the time of writing; this time next Saturday I will hopefully be about 200m offshore! Last night's practice has not really done anything to calm my lake jitters. I don't doubt I can do the distance ......in a pool! I do doubt that I can do it in a wetsuit in a lake :-S
I spent most of last night fighting the fact my wetsuit would like me to do 1600m of free and my body has other ideas. I've spent 6mths perfecting my breaststroke only to realise that the buoyancy pannels in my suit are being a little bit counter productive. My backstroke is not too bad but I'm no Liam Tancock and the lack of pool ceiling is defo a directional issue. Total swim last night was about 200m, which is less than ideal! Hopefully adrenalin will be my friend and my general refusal to let things go will see me through on the day.

Still atleast I am some way towards getting over the fear of putting my face in with the fish..... :-S Well until I actually come across one that is! *shudder*
Hopefully 10,000 swimmers splashing about will have frightened any would be toe nibblers to the other end of the lake. (That's fish before you say anything about Fergie type scandals!) Or maybe the fish in Windermere are used to it, like the giant pike that frequents Ripon Lake as a wannabe member of the triathlon club! *Double Shudder* I'm resisting the urge to "warm myself up" in the lake incase that attracts them, the way it does with sharks, just to be on the safe side!

On hearing there were a pair of Orca's in the water, the North Yorkshire branch of

Greenpeace was put on standby...............

Nope, no fish here.........

Postie has just been with an ominous looking large envalope:

No idea what this could be!

Atleast the red cap compliments my suit! ......and my toenail varnish.

(Helen Jenkins might be fast but I bet she's not this coordinated!)

Just wondering if this will be used as a toetag if in fact I do succombe to the cold, the fish, the Weil's disease, the knackered shoulder, the knackered hip, the elbows of other swimmers etc.

(Pretty sure there weren't this many hazards when I jumped off a mountain!)

So with 7 days left of life as I know it, it's probably time to write a will bucket list....... 

Things to do in the next 7 days:

* Fly to Switzerland and hide

* Marry David Beckham

* Get lunchtime lipo

* Spend all my money ........because I'm sure as hell not leaving it to you lot!!!

* Remove all skeletons from closet

* Provisionally book the bagpiper (I want Highland Cathedral either at the wedding or the funeral, which ever comes first!)

Hmmm not an awful lot to do. I think the reason I don't have a bucket list as such is that I am busy ticking things off that I want to do as I go along. If you leave it until you have "a list" you may never get to do all the things you want to in life. I think the lesson here is that life is short and it's meant to be lived while you can. Don't put off until tomorrow things that you can do today (unless it's the ironing) and don't be afraid to grab opportunities that come your way with both hands. Yes I might be a little bit mad, but I have few regrets and a great memory bank of experiences.

Let's hope that this one's not the last! ;-)

All being well at the time of posting, in exactly 7days, the finish line will be in sight!

Carpe Diem
Or maybe that should be "Do or Die" !!!



End Polio Now

Ok Here's the serious bit...............

The reason that I'm torturing myself with the swimming quest is to raise some funds for

End Polio Now.

You can sponsor me here:

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/justkeepswimming

Funds raised will go to End Polio Now via The Rotary Club of Knaresborough

Last year (2011) I worked in Nepal for three months as a volunteer. One of the projects I was invited to take part in was a national immunisation day organised by Rotary International in partnership with Unicef, The World Health Organisation and the Nepalese government.

On one day alone in Kathmandu (12th March 2011) local healthcare workers, Rotary and Rotaract volunteers enabled 2647 children to be vaccinated for free against polio.

In the 20yrs that Rotary has been running the End Polio Now / PolioPlus campaign more than 2.5 BILLION children have been vaccinated against an entirely PREVENTABLE disease. It's one of the few human diseases that we can actually eradicate and would be only the second time in history that we have managed to do this.
The difference between receiving a 20p vaccine and not receiving it can be catastrophic for children living in countries with no free or adequate healthcare and if they do survive their lifechances without a welfare state to help them are pretty poor.

The difference 20p can make....................

As a qualified early years professional, I believe very strongly that in the 21st Century when we have the scientific and medical knowledge available to us, ALL children have the right to free and adequate healthcare. No child should have to suffer from an entirely PREVENTABLE disease.

 

You may have seen or heard the coverage on the BBC back in February when the BBC correspondent Fergus Walsh reported live from Dehli just as India was declared Polio free.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17099418

February is traditionally the time when Rotary promotes it's work to eradicate polio during it's "Thanks for Life" week. Hence the Rotary Global Swimarathon which took place on 25th Feb 2012 and is set to go ahead again 23rd Feb 2013! This does not mean that the work doesn't go on year round. It's estimated that a child in India will need to be vaccinated 8+ times before they become immune and although there are only three remaining endemic countries in the world, outbreaks do occur in previously polio free areas if immunisation levels drop.

So why all the fuss about Polio?
Polio is a debilitating disease, in some cases it cause paralysis and in some even death. It's highly contageous but it is easily preventable and the nature of the disease means it is possible with enough will to eradicate it completely. For me personally, raising funds for End Polio Now by swimming is entirely appropriate as the main way the disease is spread is through contaminated water.
Putting the "Plus" in Polio Plus.......
The massive organisational effort that has gone into identifying outbreaks and organising vaccination programmes has created a worldwide infrastructure which would not be so well developed had the
PolioPlus programme not come along. The "Cold Chain" which allows temperature sensitive vaccines to be delivered to people even in remote villages has created a lasting legacy for other vaccination programmes. Identifying children that need vaccinating in countries where birth certificates are not common and people don't even know the exact date of their birth has also been a challenge, mobilising local volunteers particularly women has also done a lot for female empowerment and led to general improvements in child and maternal health.
Ewan McGreggor presented an interesting documentary on this called "Cold Chain Mission"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01gw5vj

To read more about the work Rotary is doing to end polio there's more info here:

http://www.rotary.org/en/EndPolio/Pages/learn.aspx

So anyway serious bit over, if you would like to sponsor me the online donation page is running for 18mths so if you'd rather wait until after I've (hopefully!) made it then that's ok too, it doesn't have to be a lot, every penny counts :-)

Fundraiser profile page - BT MyDonate

Rubber and Rat Pee.............

Ok so the time has come to face down the demons. It's a month to go and there is really no more procrastinating to be done. Time to order the suit. *cue dramatic sinister music intro*

Didn't really expect to get it right the first time, or even the second time, OK four suits later and it's time to panic!! Nobody looks good in ankle to neck neoprene, not even Marc Jenkins....... Ok maybe Marc Jenkins. Incidentally he's married to the only woman in the UK who also looks good in rubber, they'll probably have genetically modified offspring evolved to also look good in it.

................The rest of us mere mortals? Not a hope in hell!!!!

The best you can hope for is that it fits, that the legs are not too long, or the arms too big, that it fastens round your chest (triathletes are clearly lacking in this department....) and that you're sufficiently choked so as your very expensive piece of kit doesn't become a very expensive water scoop. You may also find yourself ordering industrial strength lube........... The kind you really want to buy online rather than over the counter at the chemist!

This comes under the heading "Things I wish I'd known before I agreed"

Halle Berry in cat woman I ain't, neither do I feel any sense of empathy with Ms Berry for what it took to get in and out of all that rubber. Still that's not the reason we're doing it is it?
*tries to sound convincing*

Suit trauma aside for the minute, what most triathletes and hardcore open water swimmers do is jump in bare foot, hell they even jump in minus the wetsuit where possible!
Me? Not so much. Not that I am unwilling to become a hardcore open water swimmer, or that I can't stand the cold, more to do with USFCs (Unidentified Squishy Foot Contacts) *shudder*
Unfortunately as our rivers and lakes have become cleaner, so the chances of coming across another living creature that does not require neck to toe neoprene have increased.
Remember all the screaming hysterical celebrities on that jungle programme? Not cool when you're in a lake full of hardcore swimmers and trying to attract the likes of Marc Jenkins (In the least attractive out fit you'll ever own!) to run from the water screaming like a girl.........

Luckily the nice people at Orca have invented these (the boots not the eel!):

They were on order before the suit was! As I pointed out to someone on twitter, I'd rather swim naked than shoeless.....

FINALLY with a suit that just about fits, shoes to avoid USFCs, tinted goggles for the sun (Yeah that's what's cursed the weather!) and gloves which may or may not make the final ensemble; it's time to take the plunge! (Into the rat pee, Weil's disease infected, fish riddled world of the open water swimmer.)

Training like a pro with the body of an amateur....

The "challenge" of training in your 30s is that age has intervened and it is definitely not as easy as in your 20s. That and not doing any for the last few years makes it a long and painful road back to somewhere approaching "fit" (well that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it!)
Not like there's any time pressure either! (47days 20hrs and 6mins but who's counting!?)

Something that seems to happen more now is that my joints crunch, my muscles tear and it's not quite so easy to push to the next level without something breaking.

Luckily I met Angela or as we lovingly call her "The Thumbs of Pain" :-S

You go with "a little niggle" and she digs it out with a shovel or at least that's what it feels like during and after.

Meet my new best friends, Theraflex and Biofreeze:

Pretty sure I didn't meet them in my twenties, or maybe I just had a more symbiotic relationship with my trigger points.

At least my knowledge of muscle anatomy has greatly improved, mostly through pain association!

So far my iliotibial band has been replaced by one not made out of cast iron, my piriformis has been coaxed out of spasm by brute force and the use of a tennis ball, I have torn my sartorius, my adductor magnus and have a gracilis muscle you could probably still play Vivaldi's four seasons on without too much difficulty.

I know the exact location of my sartorius because after Angela had been near it there was a distinct line of thumb shaped bruises along it's length. I've also had my adductors stripped and the crystal deposits ground out of my hip flexors which was at least as painful as it sounds to the power of 10!

.......and bar the beating my right tricep got yesterday she's only really been near one leg!

Whoever said that "Swimming is a gentle sport" is clearly a compulsive liar!!!


Either I am a crap swimmer or my body is too old for this shizzle :-S

When Harry met Sally..........

Sometimes in life you feel like you're connected to a predetermined grand plan, there's a kind of sliding doors moment when a chance encounter happens or doesn't and your life is changed or isn't.......

Sometimes you facilitate that change, sometimes it kind of just happens.

If I hadn't persuaded our Rotary club to let me create the club Facebook page a few weeks before I would probably not have come across the Rotary Club of Grantham........

If I hadn't come across them I would not have come across Paul Wilson, life would have been simple! I would not have spent 3mths of my life trying to persuade other people into doing precisely what I was still trying to convince myself to do.

But who wants life to be simple?

Simple is boring, predictable, safe. If you don't make yourself a little bit uncomfortable sometimes you don't grow as a person.

You can stay in your comfort zone and probably stay dry.

"Want to be part of the world's biggest synchronised swimming event, help raise a few thousand pounds for End Polio and start the year off becoming a Guinness World Record Holder?"

"You only live once right?"

Thanks to the efforts of the guys at Grantham Rotary club, Rotary Global Swimarathon on Saturday 25th February involved over 4000 swimmers swimming at the same time in 23 countries across more than 14 time zones. Not to mention that at Knaresborough we were trying in vain to keep pace with a couple of GB Paralympians Claire Cashmore and David Ellis. Turns out I am almost half as fast as a Paralympian (Who's already done a 2hr cardio session!)

With the current record smashed nearly twice over it was a great way to start the year and our Great North Swim preparations. Maybe this thing is doable after all..........

Oh and Paul Wilson is clearly as mad as I am and has now signed up to GNS as well!!!

Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

                                                   R.Frost

Oh my God WHAT have I done!!!???

Not being a complete stranger to slightly off the wall challenges I am very often the "go to" person for most people I know if activities require increased levels of insurance and carry a higher than average risk of loss of limb/life/marbles.........

"Want to jump off a perfectly good mountain at 6,460ft?"                       "Yeah no problem"
"Want to hurtle down a mountain on a high speed zip line?"                  "Yeah no problem"
"Want to do some grade 4 rapids?"                                                     "Yeah no problem"
"Want to do some vomit inducing ariel acrobatics with a parachute?"     "Yeah no problem"
"Want to go walking in the jungle with tigers and sloth bears, never mind the crocodiles, elephants and rhinos or the fact Lonely Planet has dedicated a specific paragraph to the reasons why this is not to be advised"......        *I've got a stick*  "Yeah what the hell"


Thanks Jessica:
"Want to swim a mile across a freezing cold fish infested lake?"......."errrrr Yeah no problem" :-S
"Hang on a minute......... You want me to do what???"


#1  Pretty sure I don't like deep dark water
#2  Very sure I don't like sharing my water with fish
#3  Not sure I can actually do a length never mind a mile
#4  Have reverted to using terms like "front crawl" and "lengths" like a muggle
#5  Pretty sure I don't want to be in a wetsuit much less a swimsuit in public, never mind on TV
#6  Very sure I don't want to be winched out of Lake Windermere live on Channel 4
#7  There's rats......
#8  There's no vaccine or reliable cure for Weils disease......
#9  There may or may not be eels.......
#10 My head/hair is too big for average sized swimming caps
#11 I am now over 30 and should clearly have grown out of this madness by now
#12 Not at all sure this is a good idea........
#13 Hopefully you're now convinced it's not a good idea.........
#14 Having 13 reasons is not a good omen!

"Dear Sarah Bosomworth,
 Your payment has been successfully authorised and you have now registered to take part in the British  Gas Great North Swim 1 Mile 2012."        

                                                                                 Wednesday, 2 November 2011, 13:29

Good so with no proper job I have now spent £40 I don't really have on registration for an event I have no money to pay to train for....... haven't been in a proper sized pool for at the very least 10 years, don't have a proper swimming costume, much less a wetsuit. Wetsuits cost HOW MUCH!!!? Good, great plan, one of your better ones, well done...........

Still at least I will get to stalk my childhood swimming hero:

You see even he's looking incredulous..........

Didn't you used to be a swimmer?

Ok so I used to swim a bit...... I swam a few races for sea cadets, I did a couple of swimming galas, I refused to go on holiday if there wasn't a pool and I have been known to do the odd 100 lap session before school. There might even be certificate based proof in the bottom of a draw somewhere.
This does not make me "a swimmer" ........not to mention it was 20 years ago!

"Swimmers" are part man part fish, they get up at what most sane people consider to be the middle of the night, swim endless laps (lengths to you muggles) while doing A level maths to work out their stroke rate/lapcount/efficiency, eat enough to require world food programme intervention and have abs you could do your washing on.........
I will categorically NEVER be a member of the "6am club" (besides most "swimmers" consider this a lie in....)
There are definitely no gills behind my ears, and if you so much as mention carb loading my errr abs resemble a bag of washing.......
After getting over a broken foot and living with a compulsive feeder for 3 months, not to mention the fact Christmas was a few weeks away it was time to get back to the gym.
Gym instructor turns out to also be a swimming teacher....... right there! that's when it happened, the Gods of Karma or fate or just general bloody mindedness set the wheels (or rather flippers) in motion to get to the point at which I find myself 6mths later........