Didn't you used to be a swimmer?

Ok so I used to swim a bit...... I swam a few races for sea cadets, I did a couple of swimming galas, I refused to go on holiday if there wasn't a pool and I have been known to do the odd 100 lap session before school. There might even be certificate based proof in the bottom of a draw somewhere.
This does not make me "a swimmer" ........not to mention it was 20 years ago!

"Swimmers" are part man part fish, they get up at what most sane people consider to be the middle of the night, swim endless laps (lengths to you muggles) while doing A level maths to work out their stroke rate/lapcount/efficiency, eat enough to require world food programme intervention and have abs you could do your washing on.........
I will categorically NEVER be a member of the "6am club" (besides most "swimmers" consider this a lie in....)
There are definitely no gills behind my ears, and if you so much as mention carb loading my errr abs resemble a bag of washing.......
After getting over a broken foot and living with a compulsive feeder for 3 months, not to mention the fact Christmas was a few weeks away it was time to get back to the gym.
Gym instructor turns out to also be a swimming teacher....... right there! that's when it happened, the Gods of Karma or fate or just general bloody mindedness set the wheels (or rather flippers) in motion to get to the point at which I find myself 6mths later........